The song was delivered to me in the early hours of the night. I was awake enough to put on my headphones and begin listening to it right away. I used to do this every time my best friend would send me music, never spending a second. She sent me a text message in response to this song too and said it brought back to her of both of us, and what we’ve gone through over the last few months.
This song is so full of significance,” she had told me. It is a symbol of something. From all over the globe, from having a home in Germany and training to becoming the world’s top athlete she’s dramatically changed over the last year. A similar can be said of me, having left to go to college in July and my thoughts in recent times are dominated by doubts over whether I took the right step to relocate so far away from all the people I loved. I listened to the track from Apple Music that night and Sara Bareilles’ voice encompassed me. Music has always held a great influence on me. Something that could turn on my emotions as if a switch was turned on and bring an entirely new meaning into my life. That’s exactly what I was experiencing as the lyrics played out. Each word was a part of the story and spoke to me as a person. was and who I am.
Sara Bareilles’ song “She used to be My,” tells the story of a waitress in her 20s who has an abusive husband and wonders why she became so distant from the person she used to be. However, here’s what the songs’ lyrics say to me and what I believe they have to say to anyone who is struggling in any situation.
The lyrics of this song are incredibly evocative of change and the feeling of losing your old self. I’m sure that at one time or another, all of us have had or may one day have a similar feeling to that feeling: of losing the person you were before. For college students, this can be quite common, as our whole life is changed over the span of a year. New friends, new home, new schedule, new school. It’s not uncommon to reflect on the person you were when you were in high school and realize that you don’t recognize her anymore. Sara Bareilles tells us that when you are missing the person you were and you want to be the person you used to be, you need to fight for the person you used to be. You can feel this strong determination in her lyrics “To take on just a bit and bring back the fire in her eyes that’s gone, but was mine.” These lyrics teach us to not be apathetic just because things have changed or the circumstances are difficult. Bareilles proves that the person you once were is still within you and you’ll be able to find her.
It’s not simple to say
Most days I don’t recognize me
These shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave ’em
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used to be
Although it’s true
I was never attention sweet center
I still remember that girl
She’s imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who be reckless just enough
Who can hurt but
Who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised
And gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck and be scared
Of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day
‘Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone but it used to be mine
Used to be mine
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
